So my sons birthday is coming up, which means its also the day that my uncle passed away which is marking a year. Stressful times and yet I'm forced to keep a smile on my face. My uncle was my world, my second father, if I didn't like what my dad had to say he was my second opinion and if it was something that I couldn't tell my dad, he was my first. He wasn't around my high school years but his letters were, he knew all the drama with boys, friends, and just me growing up. He was my inspiration of sorts because every letter had positive energy in it. I still have all those letters and now I have all the letters I've sent him, I cant believe he kept them, I guess men can be sentimental. It hurt my heart when I was in the hospital calling, my uncle was so excited that I was pregnant, I take that back he wasn't thrilled that I was pregnant at first, more surprised because he knew my goals, but when I womaned up and owned it he was happy and excited for his lil nephew. Man I'm tearing up hol on.... I mean dont get me wrong I love my daddy, but at the same time my dad was strict and always working so he couldn't spend the time like he wanted to, but my uncle was always there taking me and my cousins to magic mountain, outta town trips you name it I was always included and I hate that my son would never know such a great man. I mean I wish he coulda just held him once just to get a picture so I can show him that is the man that ur named after.... My uncle thought he missed my baby shower only because I had 2, so when I came back from taking Alice back home to NC when I walked thru the door I had to push babies r us bags out the way, I was so tired from getting home @3 am but excited because I thought it was all on me....when I say it was so much different random stuff I got more from my uncle than my 1st baby shower. Everything from clothes to towels to tubs to plug covers to first aide kit bottles you name it it was in the bags not to mention diapers and a box of wipes! I was set for the 1st three months. He was so proud that I was still going to school and he knew how stressed I was about not having a job but having a baby. babies = Money point blank, my uncle would help me anyway possible and sometimes I just look up to the sky and say my prays and hope that god relays my message and lets him know that I love him and truly miss him....I can still call the voicemail and hear you talking to uncle ricky, but I wanna talk to my uncle, I can still read all you letters and ponder on why I didnt listen to advice then that woulda helped me now, but regardless of the situation you are no longer here, and I know you up there in heaven keeping a eye on everyone that you loved and loved you and that was alot of people! I have you pictures all through my house, just so Shawn can ask who that is, and I can tell him his big Uncle Shawn...Iight I gotta get off here I cant type thru the tears....
